Do you have unfinished projects lying around making you feel guilty? Or maybe a wonderful dream that has just stayed a dream?
I created Accountabuddies to help people like me – procrastinators and perfectionists – get unstuck and achieve their goals.
Accountabuddies works because it uses the best – but most overlooked – resource on the planet:
Each Other.
It turns out support and a bit of accountability take you much farther than willpower and/or beating yourself up – plus it is more fun!
Back in 2009, I developed the Accountabuddies model to help myself break through an embarrassing 10 year writers block.
16 years and 48 teams later, my dream is to make accountabuddies teams – friends helping each other get hard things done, right in the middle of their busy lives – as common as book groups. That is why I’m sharing this model 100 percent free.
This is not a sales job.
It’s an invitation to try it with your own friends, and watch what happens.
The only equipment you need
What an Accountabuddies meeting looks like:
You and 4 or 5 friends sign up to be a buddy team, meeting regularly (every 1-2 weeks).
At each meeting, buddies take turns naming one hard thing they want to get done in the upcoming week or two. It might be making a tough phone call, or going to the gym, or writing for 5 minutes on a sales presentation you’ve been putting off.
Everyone writes down all the steps, and you leave the meeting with steps on a card to tuck into your wallet.
The next week, you come back and report to the group how your step went. There are cheers when you did it, and sympathy when you didn’t. Then you each pledge a new step for the upcoming week.
It sounds so basic, but the results are remarkable! It turns out support and accountability (and sometimes a gentle kick in the pants) really help you get the hard stuff done.
Some of the things my Maine buddies have done:
- Get my college degree at age 75
- Start a non-profit to combat human trafficking
- Clean out my closet
- Finish a sweater I started 20 years ago
- Track my expenses and live within my means
- Find a good home for my late husband’s belongings
- Train for a 5K to feel endorphins once again
- Finally write the book I’ve always had in me
- Become a police chaplain
- Find 2 hours for myself each week not to be taking care of others
- Launch a town-wide Kindness Day in the city of Bath, Maine.
- Have a gallery showing of my photographs
- Go on stage for the first time at age 80.
- Take one day off work every week to rest.
- Live in Tanzania part-time
- Trade in teaching to become a camp director
- Re-kindle my love of singing and join a madrigal group
- Go on silent retreat
- Find a way to pace myself and thrive while living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
- Develop a morning prayer practice
- Learn how to sew a skirt for my body type
- Walk regularly and eat well so I can get in shape to travel again
- Find a way to earn 300 dollars so I can attend my daughter’s college
- graduation out of state
- Get up the courage to host people in my imperfect, messy home and share love and food with them….
….and so many more!
Could you try this on your own? Absolutely.
But why not take advantage of all my mistakes experience?
Through hundreds of hours of trial and error, I’ve refined a simple structure that works for people from all walks of life. I’ve also learned 3 tools that really work to break through perfectionism and procrastination. Finally, I’ve picked up some road-tested advice (such as how to kindly rein in runaway talkers) to help your team do more than you ever thought you could do and STILL end up friends at the end!
Accountabuddies also comes in two more “sizes”
THE HOUR OF POWER
A small, snackable taste of accountability and support for your hard project, coming live on your Facebook feed
WAYFINDERS
A deep dive into your hopes, dreams, gifts, and circumstances, where I help you and your friends discover a fabulous goal for each of you, and then give you the structure to bring those dreams to life.
So who am I and what’s the story?
I’m Darreby Ambler, I live in a tiny town in Maine, and I created Accountabuddies to help people like me: procrastinators, perfectionists, and people who need an occasional kick in the pants.
The Story
It was 2009 and I’d been trying to finish a children’s book for years; the perfectionist in me just couldn’t stop fooling with it. Desperate, I gathered some good friends into my living room for an experiment: what if we each brought a goal we were having trouble with, and helped each other?
I made brownies, and every one of them showed up.
Stories poured out. One wanted to find a way to travel for a year with her family. Another wanted to start a homemade chili ministry. Another wanted to take the mountain dulcimer, out of the closet and learn to play it.
We each figured out some next step, some one thing we could do to get started, and committed to do it in the coming week. We figured even if the step was tiny (“just open the closet door and LOOK at the dulcimer”) it was more progress than we’d been able to make on our own.
Over the next couple of months with encouragement, humor, and the occasional nudge, we started to bring our goals to life. Deb gave the sermon she always wanted to give. Kim changed paths and became the director of our food bank. Linda played us a Christmas carol on the dulcimer.
And I finished my book.
The thing is, we actually had FUN doing all those things that scared the pants off of us. And we did them right in the middle of our busy lives.
I was so inspired I had to try it again. Different friends with different goals, and when friends – my actual neighbors from tiny little Bath, Maine – went on to sing in public, start a writer’s retreat center, and TRAVEL To INDIA TO FIGHT HUMAN TRAFFICKING (Jackie, I’m looking at you!) I knew I was onto something.
“Why isn’t everyone doing this?” I wondered. “We’re doing amazing things – and it’s free!”
I became a woman on a mission, and for the last 15 years I have watched hundreds of people – from all walks of life – bring their beautiful, scary, complicated goals to life with a little structure (which I’m going to give you), and the support of a few friends (so start thinking of names!).
Actual photo of me at my desk.